Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Flu... the three letter word...

Flu... the three letter word that strikes fear and terror into the hearts of man...

Or it should... You might have noticed the lack of activity around here, well it all started with a little twinge in my eye then a little gritty feeling then a few hours later I was blinking fast to keep the excess water from spilling out. My nose also started to run. I thought uh oh a cold is coming on. I took the usual items to combat it (in my case vitamin C, sulfur pills, and a few other natural products) and I felt better the next day. Then later that afternoon I had another bout of watery eyes and runny nose. Took them again and the next day I felt fine. I thought I had throw it off. Well little did I know how wrong I was.

This bug put me into a false sense of security and two days later it hit full force. I woke up feeling like a Mack truck hit me head on. Watery eyes, full sinuses, headache, fever, massive chills, and in general feeling like something ran over me. Don't get me wrong I have had flus before, quite a few in fact, but nothing to this level in a long long time. Temperature went up and down. First couple of days wasn't too bad, then it shot up to 103F. I managed to keep it from going any higher but it was a struggle and took several medications to do it. That was the peak thankfully, but it was still high for the next week. And the fever did not fully depart for another week after. Yes you read right, two weeks I felt miserable and got absolutely nothing done. Although I did watch a couple of things on Netflix, not sure if I remember what they were.

And dreams! Oh my word the dreams I was having (when I actually did manage to sleep). I have had weird ones in the past, but these were on a whole new level. You know the normal dream where you end up at a board meeting in your underwear but not sure why? And of course they bring this to your attention making you want to fall into a crack in the earth never to be seen again. Well not me, oh no, I was the only one dressed! Never mind it was "underwear day" (which could never happen), nope they all had to ask why I wasn't in my underwear and make jokes giving the same feeling of wanting to fall into the earth times 10.

You know there are all kinds of Flu. Horse flu, dog flu, swine flu, bird flu. But I still think the old fashioned "sneak up on you no name flu" is the worst. You think you are going to be okay, just a case of the sniffles or a minor cold. Then whamo you feel like a 40 ton mack truck hit you, stopped and backed up over you, then went froward again. All you want to do is hide under the covers sleep until it passes. But wait, you can't because you can't breathe. But even if you could breathe, the cough would wake you up. Sometimes you wonder if a lung is going to come up your throat, or something ... else.

So you drag your sick backside into the doctor and what does he tell you? Go rest and drink lots of fluids. Well I knew that but can't you give me something for this? Nope sorry it has to run its course. No cure for the flu.

HA! he has something that would help but doesn't want to give it. Well I can understand that, we don't want to make super bugs that antibiotics won't work on. But gosh darn at that point I didn't care. I wanted DRUGS! The GOOD stuff! Instead I end up getting something from the local pharmacy that could substitute for water that cost over $13. Although I admit it does taste better than water. Does it help? Well maybe, on a good day. But we all know this is one baaaad day.

I try to read, my favorite pass time, but of course my vision is so blurry it gives me a instant headache to try. So I lay back and do the only thing I can do that does not hurt ... moan.

This my friends is why there have been so many movies with people moaning in hospitals. Heck I am almost sure it is why we always see zombies moaning. They probably have the flu as well.

They tell you the best thing for the flu is sleep. And I agree 100% the problem is HOW to get said sleep when you can't breathe and you are coughing ever minute or two. They never tell you that part.

Then you realize you are almost out of everything in the house, including ...wait for it ... TISSUES! It is crisis time! So you drag yourself out of your sick bed, into the store. Everyone looks at you as though you are a leaper or Patient Zero of the deadly plague where if they are in the same building as you they will die a horrible death. Meanwhile you strongly consider coughing directly on that one cashier that wouldn't take your double coupon last week. Of course you already are without intending to, but that is beside the point.

You blink through watery eyes trying to get home and right now your bed looks like heaven. But when get there you realize you haven't yet put away the groceries. You look over the bags of potato chips, pretzles, and crackers to see that nothing needs to go into the refrigerator anyway. You grab a bag of 'flu food' since nothing else even remotely tastes good though all the mucus your body is putting out and you have to eat something lest your stomach decides to join the choir of symptoms, and drag yourself back to your sick bed.

There you remain until many days later you emerge, better but still feeling like a giant truck used you for a hood ornament right before plowing though several concrete barricades. You are on the mend and life starts to look like it is worth living after all.

That my readers, is where I was. But as Buddy said so eloquently on the 80's TV show Night Court "But I am feeling much better now."


Don DeBon is the author of Red Warp, Time Rock, and Soulmates.  Currently available on Kindle, Nook, iBooks, Kobo, Smashwords, and other retailers.

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